How to NOT Get Someone’s Attention in Social Media

Generally, I do my best to focus on helpful and inspirational tips.  That said, when I encounter a situation that some may experience, I like to share my point of view in case it’ll help.

Some of my Twitter friends have inquired about gaining a better understanding of how to get the attention of social media influencers.

While assessing how to best answer, I decided to create a guide explaining How to NOT Get Someone’s Attention in Social Media:

  • Work on building a relationship with the individual before blindly direct messaging them to share your blog posts.  Re-tweeting  them once or twice may not be enough.  Why? The individual may not have seen your re-tweet.  Have conversations and develop a positive rapport with the individual.
  • Share some of their content before direct messaging the Twitter influencer to share yours.  If you would like them to share your post, ask yourself, “Would I go up to someone in real life and ask him /her to promote me when I have not had prior engagements with this individual? Am I comfortable enough with this person?”
  • If you would like to ask someone to share your blog content, you may want to leave a few comments on their blogs to get their attention – or, share a few of their blog posts.  Display that you’re active in this community you share with them.
  • Keep in mind that, just because you do this, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re definitely going to return the favor.  Why?  Because your own content may not be in line with the influencer’s social media pages.  Social media power users do not have time to read all the requests, and most of them will not share something they have not read.  Along that token, too, realize a decline is not always personal.
  • Another possibility, if your content has not been shared, is that the influencer you have tried to contact is busy with their life activities.  Remember, the social media power-user is not there as your administrator.  We’re all really busy juggling our day-to-day happenings while balancing social media, work, projects, family, etc.
  • If you see a post you like and would like to put your spin on it, make sure you revise the content in your own words.  It is not a good idea to lift the content directly from the original author without giving them proper credit.  Eventually, the author will see the post and note the identical verbage from his/her site, plus your readers will know where it originated as posts are date stamped.  Give credit where credit is due!

In order to create positive synergy with your friends on social media, The best thing you can do is build relationships. It takes a little more effort, but you’ll reap greater long-term rewards.

The best way to do this is to cut back on JUST sending requests and poking them on Facebook, and also limit direct messaging them on Twitter as these types of annoying gestures clog up the influencer’s in-box, and will not get his or her positive attention.

One last thought:  take time to reflect and re-evaluate your blog traffic situation.  Instead of focusing on getting everyone to share your content, perhaps focus more in creating content that will travel on its own merit.

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79 Replies to “How to NOT Get Someone’s Attention in Social Media

  1. Well said, Ann. Great reminder to folks not to take things personally, but to make sure that when they approach a social power user to ask for help spreading the word, that they understand the importance of alignment and respect. Nice post.

  2. Good one Ann. I am still a bit confused about how this whole RT and asking for an RT etc. I was under the impression that Twitter is about finding and sharing what you think is interesting .. what you think others may like. Whether or not they return the RT. This sort of post helps understand it all a bit more. … Thanks. 🙂

  3. Thank you Ann. This advice is very concise and to the point. I will utilize your recommendations as I go forward.

    Good Bless you

    1. Thank you, #SocialMedia is collaborating and cultivating relationships just like you would in any life situation.


    1. Hi Abhishek,

      In order to create positive synergy with your friends on social media, The best thing you can do is build relationships. It takes a little more effort, but you’ll reap greater long-term rewards.

      Thank you for stopping by ツ

  4. Thanks for the tips Ann. I’ve followed all of your advice and have come to realize that these things take time. Imposing positive rapport has been my biggest mistake, but now just letting it happen in its own course without forcing the speed and direction of the relationship. Grear blog! 🙂

  5. Great tips! I used to be a mess with social media, sending out messages to people asking them to fulfill my requests without prior engagements and I wondered why no one ever responded! lol. I’ve since found that like you said, it’s important to build trust and rapport with people first and to give and take instead of just trying to take.

  6. It may be that many misunderstand social media and treat it as a traditional promotion format – throwing their message AT someone. When Social Media is seen for what it is, a conversation, dialogue,and a place to share it’s realized “pitching” is probably a poor strategy.

    1. You are right. Social media is a entirely new and novel way of reaching out. Utilized in å social and responsible manner it can benefit us all.

  7. Very helpful post, thanks Ann. Think you’re right about posting quality content, or at least posting something catchy or amusing. How else is anyone to stand out in the sea of voices on Twitter?

  8. Thnaks for this Ann. I’m new to blogging so your words of advice are very welcome – and make a lot of sense. And clearly you are talking from the perspective of a successful blogger!

  9. I like this article ! Great advice for people who are new and good points for longer term members of the community who need to ‘remember’ some things they may have gotten away from.

    1. Hi Cari,

      It’s nice to share with other and not just broad cast your own work. Thank you for sharing.


    1. Hi Anthony,

      Welcome to the blog world. There are more tips under the blogging category from other bloggers that I found useful for myself. I hope that will help you with your blogging adventure.


  10. You have a common sense, clear message that more should follow. I appreciate your focus on positivity and building relationships. I think too often we forget that even though the format is short, the need to build relationships still takes time.

    1. Hi Jodi,

      It certainly takes time and genuine care in building long lasting relationships. Thanks for stopping by.


  11. Ann,

    I really enjoyed this post. I just begun using Twitter and find it an amazing tool.

    I especially liked your comment about “Would I feel comfortable asking this person in real life…” Puts relationship building in perspective.

    Great input and looking forward to your future blogs.


  12. Ann-You do exactly as you write in this article. Between you and MistyBelardo I have learned more about SoMe than anywhere else.

    Though I am still a “noob” in Social Media, I am a life long Sales Dude and can relate to relationship building, sincerity and being genuinely interested in others.

    As a result of your spirit, content of tweets and inspiration I have focused my SoMe efforts on what I do best which is Connect emotional dots that influence change, inspires action and embraces differences.

    You, Ann Tran helped me understand that 1 quality follower or connection is worth more than a thousand flaky ones.

    Thank you–you held my Tweety hand when I started

    1. Hi Al,

      I am happy that Misty and I have been able to help. I truly appreciate your kind comment.


  13. Hi Ann,

    I love this article. It summarizes a lot of common sense and know-ledge in very few words.

    Bravo for this excellent article that I will immediately share on my social media.


  14. Loved this! I think creating good content so your growth is organic was such a great reminder for people, as was the point about “if you wouldn’t feel comfortable asking in person”.

    Sitting behind the computer makes people forget that social relationships online should be treated similarly to in-person relationships. Unfortunately sometimes people don’t use their social media manners as they would (I hope!) in a face-to-face interaction.

    1. Hi Stephanie,

      I am glad you enjoyed this article. I like your comment about sitting behind the computer makes some people forget their social manners on-line.
      Thank you for stopping by.


  15. Some great advice on how to avoid being #NotSoGenius Sometimes you have to switch up your MO to deliver a more effective message – you accomplished that in this post.

  16. Excellent post, Ann! Building relationships and developing your content are foundational keys to social media success. I would add, contribute something. Why should people follow you? What can you contribute to their day? My favorite tweeps to follow (and recommend) are the ones who enrich my day when they show up in my stream. It’s been said on Twitter many times, but it bears repeating, “Tweet others as you wish to be tweeted.”

  17. Awesome post Ann. I love the way you emphasized relationship building. This is what some people new on social media forget. Relationship building takes time and also sincerity. So looking forward to meeting you in NYC in June for the #140 Conference.

    1. Hi Misty,

      Relationship building is essential. I think it’s a good reminder for old and newbies ツon social media. Can’t wait to meet you in real life Misty!


    1. Hey 007

      It’s good to have friends like you to collaborate and build strong social media relationships. Giving more than you take is very effective.

      Thank You

  18. Hi Ann!

    I think instinctively I avoided asking others to RT my posts and instead focused on relationships. My parents always taught me that you must first give in order to receive. I’ve focused on commenting on blog posts (we all love that, right?) and responding to tweets of those I know I could work well with. I definitely RT others’ messages to my followers, but not without reading the whole post to make sure it is in line with what I believe and preach to my clients. Thanks for the post. I look forward to reading more!


  19. Hello Ann 🙂

    I being a blogger send DM’s of RT requests, but before that I do ask them whether they are in a position to share my stuff or not, and I’m never afraid to get critics on my post, because when we start working on these critics we increase our standards of writing the perfect quality content.

    When I had started my blogging journey with Twitter, I still remember a small lesson taught by my Queen Diana (@adamsconsulting). It’s so happened that whenever I used to send her DM’s, just after that I used to RT her content unknowingly. She just Dm’ed me and taught me the basic rules of Sharing and getting attention :D. So sometimes doing what I did with Diana, can give a bad impression about us on Twitter. So we need to make sure that we’re here to gain attention, but not for cluttering the mentions of others !!

    As you have already said, just by 2 or 3 RT’s we cannot expect anyone to fulfill our RT request it takes time to connect with people and maintaining them is the “Key” 😀

    I do get RT requests, but it so happens I RT of only those whom I know and if it’s a good content then I make sure it gets circulated everywhere.

    Happy Tweeting 😀

  20. Hi Ann,

    Yes, “…focus more in creating content that will travel on it’s own merit.” It is wiser to make something of value than it is to promote some thing in an attempt to make it valuable…hey, I think I’ll tweet that!
    Your writing has inspired me again, have a great day.


  21. Thanks for another wonderful post. I have been following you and following little advises you give and they are really helpful. I have made some very good friends on twitter lately just because of that.

    ..and I guess it is you and 2morrowknight in the picture with awesome background, the photographer definitely needs to be given some compliment:)

  22. Thank you for this great post! It amazes me that we have to talk about this in 2012. People do not realize that the way you act in “real” life is the same as the way you should act on social media outlets…

    1. I think you have it in a nutshell Cendrine.

      You should behave exactly as you would in real life….lol.

      People, if they cannot see you often behave, differently toward you.

      I found that.. working in a call centre, people felt they could be as abusive as they liked.

      If they had met me in the banking hall, they would have behaved quite differently..


  23. Great, great post Ann. I especially love the last part about making sure you’re publishing quality content. Ultimately, your content needs to be able to stand on its own merits to truly reach a wide audience.

    Also, you are so right about the importance of relationship building and that it doesn’t happen overnight. True relationship building takes effort, time and sincerity of purpose. Help each other and everyone wins.

    I agree with Peggy, “positive synergy is a wonderful way to word it!”

    1. Hi Marty,

      I am so lucky to have a great relationship with you and Misty Belardo. I appreciate both of your support over the years. Hope to meet you in NYC for the 140 conference in June.

      Thank you,

  24. Beautifully put Ann!

    I totally agree about building relationships on social media and building your network. Surprisingly, you don’t need a huge amount of friends to create a great thing.

    Positive synergy is a wonderful way to word it!

    1. Peggy,

      It is always wonderful to see your happy avitar on my comment section or in any of my social media platform. Thank YOU so much for your support and friendship.


  25. Excellent post Ann. I especially like the suggestion that people ask themselves, “would I be comfortable asking this in person?” Most times, no…

    I appreciate the kind and gentle approach you exhibit in your posts and on Twitter. It’s comforting in this sea of people shouting from the rooftops…

    All the best, Trace

  26. “Social Media doesn’t change the fact that relationships take time.” I saw this come across yesterday (can’t remember from who), but so fitting. One date does not a wedding vow make!

    I’ll echo Tony and agree that your last thought is vital…content, content, content.

    Ann ~ All my best to you, John

  27. Your last thought is a vital one Ann, poor content will never get you anywhere however you go about (Not) getting peoples attention.

    Many thanks for another thought provoking post Ann 🙂

    1. Hi Tony,

      It is always lovely to see your smiling face on my comment page. Thank you so much for being a huge supporter on the site.


  28. I don’t think I’ve really had anyone ask me to tweet or share something without building a friendly relationship first. My motto is to not have expectations of others. If I’m sharing their content on a regular basis, I don’t expect them to reciprocate. I’m sharing because I feel is worthy content to share. It’s the same as if I follow you, you don’t have to follow me back.

    I love your point #4 and it’s solid advice to not take it personally.

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