If you have a choice to be happy or angry, which would you choose? Obviously, most of us want to be happy and choose the first one—but it’s not always easy, I know. Sometimes people do things that you don’t understand—perhaps they’ve had a rough life, or even just a rough day. When we react to a situation that is negative, it only grows and festers in our minds and hearts. So what can we do?
Eric Allenbaugh said “You teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life.”
When I see negative posts or images on my social media pages, I hit the un-follow button because I really don’t want that energy in my stream, and especially not in my life. So what happens when it comes from a co-worker or a friend? Even when I try to work through it, I find that there are times you can’t change their behavior. I work well with people who are accountable for their actions because it ensures professionalism. I need people who I can count on and complement my team. If they’re also smart, sensible and low maintenance, that’s a bonus.
When you accept a negative behavior over and over from someone, you enable them to continue with habits that don’t serve your relationship. You are telling them that it’s okay to be late, it’s okay not to show up for our appointments, and it’s okay to be disrespectful. Sometimes you can’t influence positive change, and when that happens to me, I move on. They will have to figure out what happened, and hopefully that realization will make them into a better person for themselves and their new associates.
I make an effort to post mindful quotes or articles on my social media channels, and it’s great that quite frequently people express gratitude for the timely share. The quotes or photograph I chose to share is sometimes affirmation for myself. I use it to change my thoughts and emotions—hopefully towards the positive. It’s been a work in progress over the last few years.
I’ve found that in relationships, setting boundaries is key. It takes so much more of my energy to be negative and angry. I’m not saying that you should walk away from every negative situation that you encounter, as good relationships are defined by how you work together through the ups and downs. But if perhaps we could be mindful of how we react and think of the consequences. Is it worth your energy?